We all have been through ups and downs in our life. The most pathetic feeling is grieving the loss of a person who is still alive. Yes, we are talking about break up and separation. Nobody said it would be easy, but nobody said it would last forever. Of course, it was an important part of your life, but at some point, you have to leave those memories behind which keep hurting you now and then.
If you solely depend on movies, they would ask you to put on pajamas, have large ice cream alongside watching Netflix. Now let us know that who is in that comfortable position to be able to consume ice cream and concentrate on Netflix? Anyone? The answer is flat no.
A breakup is a painful moment unless you will do it to get rid of an immature partner. Although we believe that everything happens for good, this is one of those moments when you cannot find anything good in it. Not everyone enjoys the separation from their partner, especially when you feel personally disappointed with what has happened.
When you get into a relationship, your partner becomes your extended family who understands you in the same way. It is tough to let go of these feelings you had for your significant other. But, when things end between two people, it is important to let it go for healing your soul. Many people have no idea about how to get over a breakup, and they adopt bizarre habits to overcome the pain.
A breakup is not a disease or something permanent that will continue to hurt you. You will miss the person but not in a way to want them back. At some point, you have to pick yourself up and face reality. To help you a bit in reducing the breakup trauma, here is a piece on how to get over a breakup.
1. Don’t Become a Professional Stalker
One of the unhealthiest habits picked up by people after a breakup is stalking. This is the most important dating and relationship advice you’ll hear from your benevolent. You may be a mature, reasonable, and sorted person in your mind, but an ex is a person who has the capability to drive you crazy all over again. An occasional reminder of his activities on social media will never let you stay at peace. Of course, it is hard to take your mind off certain things, but it will fall into place slowly.
You don’t have to ax your bruise again and again by looking at your ex’s timeline on social media. Even if it does not affect you, leave it. Keep yourself away from their life in all aspects. The best way to get over a breakup is by blocking your ex. Or maybe you can just unfriend them, but the ultimate aim is to stay away and nothing else.
2. “Staying as Good Friends” is a Blunder
So you are trying to display a chilled out attitude about the breakup. And out of nowhere a pop up asks you to stay with your ex on good terms like friends do. This is the first biggest mistake you make after a breakup. By doing such things, you are only increasing the complications and awkwardness in your relationship.
It is a breakup, and it is evident to stay upset about it. You don’t have to act like you are doing fine or you are okay with it just to stay connected.
After the breakup, one person always wants to be just friends, and the other one always wants to be more than that. You must work on such things before you ruin a healthy friendship. There is no point of getting defeated by not accepting a friendship proposal from your ex.
3. Don’t Become an Alcoholic
Sad. Lonely. Drunk. Avoid these things because it will only depress you more. Being sad over a breakup is natural, but be unhappy with your friends around you. Be with someone who can handle you when you are drunk and acting nihilistic.
I am not instructing you on how to get over a breakup, but we are just trying to reduce the damage you could cause to yourself in the name of sadness. Adopting alcohol will neither solve your issues nor will it bring back the happy relationship days. So ultimately there is no point of getting drunk and staying in a corner.
4. Select a Strict Workout Routine – How to Get Over A Breakup
You may think this is not the time to tone your body, especially when your better half is not there to adore you. But, this is just to keep your mind healthy, and yourself fit. Top of everything, you don’t need a reason to go to the gym. Post breakup is the phase when you just want to stay in your room for as long as you feel depressed.
But, that is not the solution to the stressful days you are going through. Put on your shoes and indulge yourself in a heavy workout routine. This healthy habit will give you some productive results, and you will finally feel good about yourself.
5. Try to Stay Outside for a Longer Time
After the breakup, you feel stuck at the moment and pose like dead for months. But seeing the sun for a while does no harm. There is nothing wrong if you want to get out of that depressing phase of life. Staying outside does not mean you can roam around with numb head.
Go to places such as the museum, park, wildlife sanctuary, or something indulging. Try to interact with people and get involved in some healthy and meaningful conversation. Vent out the things you have in your heart by simply going outside and feeling better. Once you get used to feeling healthy, you will never think of how to get over a breakup.
6. Stay low-key; Not Everyone Needs to Know What Happened
When you are finding out ways on how to get over a breakup, you will come across people who need to know all about the series. Do not open up unless you know they will help you out with this miserable feeling. Not everyone who wants to know will give a helping hand to get over a breakup.
If you keep on repeating the events which have happened in your relationship, you will probably never be able to get over the breakup. Explain in brief and be careful about the choice of words. Do not exaggerate your pain and feel numb all over again. Explaining the things to curious people will only increase your depression.
7. Crying your Heart Out is Not Bad Sometimes
Keeping your feelings bottled up and then not being able to find out how to get over a breakup is unhealthy. Do not stop yourself from expressing what you feel and how you feel. The more you suppress now, the higher will be the explosion later. And this explosion will only harm your near and dear ones who are actually bothered about helping you.
Even if you don’t want to cry in front of people and create a sad scene, you can take your own time to settle down. It may feel weird to cry on your own, but that is completely okay. Do whatever makes you feel good. Just believe in that fact that “This too shall pass.”
8. Do Not Try to See Your Ex in Public Gatherings
Your heart and mind, both will say yes to this. But this is not the way you find how to get over a breakup. Seeing them again will compel you to approach him and start your relationship. Even if you don’t want to start, it will bring back the memories you had with them, and that is quite troublesome. There are chances you will face an emotional breakdown in such public gatherings.
You must keep yourself out of such chaotic situations that give you wrong directions. By accepting the invitation of a public meeting where you know your ex will be present, you are only pushing yourself in that emotional pool again. Make sure you avoid such things to stay at peace. Do not painfully open your scab all over again.
9. Don’t Make Plans to Get Them Back
There will come a time when you will feel like catching up with your ex. This craving is not worth it. If this relationship were worth it, then it would not have ended up hurting you like this. Do not engage yourself in unnecessary planning and plotting to get your ex back in your life.
If you are destined to be with them, you will land up in the right place. But trying hard to get them back because you are too impatient to find how to get over a breakup will only hurt you more along with another downfall. Try to distract yourself by indulging in some recreational activities that will refresh your mind.
10. Pamper Yourself
One of the best answers to questions like how to get over a breakup is this. You already feel depressed after separation and don’t make the things miserable by not treating yourself properly. By pampering yourself, you do not disrespect the relationship you had or the feelings of your ex. You are just giving yourself the right treatment, and you deserve it.
Find online dating sites and apps, take yourself on dates, order some delicious food, and eat desserts. Travel to places which make you happy and feel relaxed. Do not think about what people will think of you or what your ex will say about you. We have already mentioned that you must do anything that makes you feel better. This is neither selfishness nor rude.
11. Stop Blaming Yourself for the Things Happened
A breakup always happens on mutual consent, and you must not consider yourself as the stakeholder for the damage caused. Humans have a habit of blaming each other or self. Maybe things were not meant to be, maybe this was not working, or maybe this was not good for you. Anything could be possible when a relationship ends.
Do not calculate the “ifs” and “buts.” Holding yourself accountable and blaming yourself are two different things altogether. What has happened is a thing of past and what will occur in future is in your hands. Do not cling on to this one unfortunate incident and feel sad forever.
12. Avoid Posting your Grievances on Social Media
This is how you get over a breakup? By posting things on social media? This will only gather sympathy that will ultimately make you feel like a victim. The breakup is not a war. Things ended because they were not going on smoothly. It is painful, but you can reduce the after-effects by handling the situation with maturity.
I have already mentioned that you must stay low-key. What is the use of staying low-key when all your matter is up for public display on social media? Understand the things sensibly and react after analyzing everything.
13. How Long does it Take to Get Over a Breakup?
On an average, a person takes 6-12 months to get over his/her breakup with the partner depending on will power one has. This is certainly an extended period, and you can’t even imagine the situation in those months. But the good part is that you slowly get back on track.
However, different people have different methods to get over a breakup. Sometimes you understand things within a month, and sometimes you hold on the pain for more than two years. It all comes down to the point that how much effort you take to keep yourself in a better position after the breakup.
In the light of facts above presented on how to get over a breakup, we can conclude that you need to be strong and mature. These facts can help you out only when you are trying to come out of that gloomy phase of life. It won’t be easy, but it won’t be impossible either. One has to make an effort because the string of happiness lies in your hand and you must hold it firmly. Let go of what pulls you back from moving ahead and cling on to something that pushes you forward towards betterment.